Slightly Spicey Hot Takes on Leadership Trends

I love Brené Brown. Her work on shame resilience has transformed millions of lives, including mine. But we've taken her vulnerability research and misapplied it to high-stakes leadership environments where outcomes matter and people's livelihoods depend on decisions.

The uncomfortable truth: In my portfolio, the most effective leaders aren't the most vulnerable ones. They're the most COMPETENT, CLEAR, and CARING ones. 3C's to reframe vulnerability for high performers.

🏆 The Vulnerability Trap in Leadership .
🎯 Vulnerability w/out competence is just oversharing.

I've watched too many well-intentioned leaders confuse authentic leadership with emotional transparency. They share their struggles, their fears, their uncertainties—thinking this builds trust + connection.

What actually happens: ❌
* Teams lose confidence in decision-making capability
* Direct reports become emotional caretakers instead of high performers
* Strategic clarity gets muddied by personal processing
* Psychological safety becomes psychological burden
Research says: While vulnerability can build connection in therapeutic or personal contexts, in performance environments it must be paired with demonstrated competence to maintain credibility + trust. 🧠

Redefining Care vs. Vulnerability 💡
Vulnerability = Exposing uncertainty + emotional needs
Care = Demonstrating investment in others' success + wellbeing ❤️

Vulnerability in leadership often sounds like: 😟
"I'm really struggling with this decision" ; "I don't know if I'm the right person for this role" ; "I'm having a hard time personally and it's affecting my work"

Care in leadership sounds like: ✨
"Here's what I'm seeing in your performance and how we can optimize it"
"I'm investing in your development because I see your potential"
"Let me remove this obstacle so you can focus on your strengths"

🎯The distinction: Vulnerability centers on the leader's emotional experience. Care centers on the team member's growth and success.

🚀The 3C Framework for High-Performance Leadership: After coaching Fortune 100 executives + analyzing patterns across my portco's, these are the three non-negotiable traits that drive both performance + psychological safety.

The Bottom Line 💯
* Your team doesn't need you to be vulnerable. They need you to be reliable.
* They need to know that:
+ You can handle the pressure so they can focus on their work (Competence)
+ You'll give them clear direction so they're not guessing (Clarity)
+ You're genuinely invested in their success, not just using them for results (Care)

Vulnerability without competence is anxiety-inducing. 😰 Competence without care is exploitative. 💔 Care without clarity is confusing. 🤷‍♀️
All three together? That's how you build both high performance and psychological safety. 🚀.

Rooting for you,
SK
And this is costing you promotions, funding rounds, and team performance.

I've coached 800+ leaders and founders through this exact challenge. Brilliant people dimming their impact because they're afraid of being labeled "difficult."

The simple truth: Your niceness is not a competitive advantage. Your clarity is.💡
Here's what I see: 📊
* Corporate leaders: Dilute expertise with unnecessary qualifiers, then wonder why they're passed over
* Founders: Over-soften during investor pitches, then get feedback about "lacking conviction"
* Team managers: Avoid direct feedback, then watch performance suffer
The cost? Ideas dismissed. Funding delayed. Teams underperform. 📉

The actual difference: ⚡
RUDE: "That's wrong." / "We can't do that." / "I disagree." Tone: dismissive, personal, conversation-stopping
DIRECT: "I see a different path. Here's what I'm thinking..." / "That approach has risks we should address." / "I have concerns about timeline. Let's talk through alternatives."

🎶 Tone: solution-focused, specific, conversation-advancing.
> Important distinction: Being direct isn't about being "alpha" or adopting aggressive cultural styles. It's about confidence paired with competence—stating your expertise clearly while inviting collaboration.

Case study: 🏅
A Series B founder kept getting investor feedback about "lacking conviction." His delivery was being misread.
* The problem: Starting with "Maybe I'm wrong, but..." and apologizing before sharing strategic decisions.
* The shift: We reframed directness as leadership, not aggression.
* Before: "Sorry, but maybe we should consider pivoting the product roadmap?"
* After: "Based on user data from Q3, I'm recommending we pivot our roadmap to focus on enterprise features. Here's the analysis..."
Result: Closed Series B within 4 months. Board confidence increased. Team execution improved. 📈

🚀 The CLEAR Method:
C - Context: Set up why you're speaking
L - Logic: Share your reasoning
E - Evidence: Provide specific data
A - Action: State what you recommend
R - Response: Invite dialogue

Practice exercise. Track when you: (i) Apologize before sharing opinions (ii) Use hedge words like ("maybe," "I think") (iii) Ask permission to share expertise.

Then reframe:
❌ "Sorry, but I think maybe we should consider..."
✅ "I recommend we consider..."
❌ "Does this make sense?"
✅ "What questions do you have?"

The plot twist: Direct communication creates MORE trust, not less.
For teams: Clear direction = confident execution
For investors: Conviction signals strong leadership
For boards: Decisive communication demonstrates readiness
🎯 Bottom line: Whether seeking promotion or Series A, the world needs your ideas delivered clearly, not your politeness delivered perfectly.

What's one way you've been over-softening your communication?
Most leadership advice tells you to "gather more data" and "analyze all options." This is terrible advice.

Reality: The decisions that make or break companies aren't the 90/10 slam dunks. Those get handled levels down in large orgs, or by your lead engineer in a 12-person startup.

You get the 49/51 calls-- when smart people violently disagree, the data is messy and time is running out. Whether you're deciding on a $50M acquisition, pivoting product strategy, or writing a Series A check.

The Hierarchy of Certainty (and Why It Matters). Economist Thomas Sowell breaks down levels of understanding:
* Theory (highest certainty)
* Model (structured framework)
* Hypothesis (educated guess)
* Notion (gut feeling)
Most leadership decisions live in hypothesis/notion territory. The leaders who wait for "theory-level" certainty get lapped by competitors who CAN operate in uncertainty. This is true whether you're running a 50,000-person org or a lean team. Scale changes the stakes, not the skill.

When to Pull the Trigger vs. When to Pump the Brakes?
Having worked across Fortune 100 boardrooms, startups from pre-seed to series D, and GP investment committees, here's what separates high-performers:
⚡ Make the call when:
*Delay costs more than being wrong
*You have 60%+ conviction (not 90%, not 30%)
*The decision is reversible
*Your team needs direction more than perfection

🛑 Slow down when:
*Stakeholder politics are getting toxic
*You're missing domain expertise (not just data)
*The decision affects people's careers (or company survival)
*You catch yourself rationalizing instead of reasoning

The Frameworks That Actually Work in Real Time
💡 "Never Split the Difference" Chris Voss nailed this-- Compromise often means everyone loses. Don't split the difference on core issues.
⚡ The TLC Quick-Decision Model. Time constraint + Limited info + Critical consequences = Go with your best judgment. Analysis paralysis kills more deals than bad decisions.
🎯 The "No Decision IS a Decision" Indecision is choosing the status quo. Sometimes that's right. But make it consciously, not by default.

Research shows 50% of management decisions fail. Not because leaders are incompetent, but because leading means uncertainty. You can't be right 100% of the time. You need to be decisive enough to maintain momentum and adaptive enough to course-correct fast.

Fortune 500 CEOs have resources to pivot. Startup founders have speed to iterate. VC's have portfolio diversification. But all of us need the same core skill: operating effectively in uncertainty.

👌 Bottom Line: Perfect information is a luxury. Speed + direction beats precision + paralysis.

The best leaders I know have made peace with being uncomfortable with their decisions. They've built systems to move fast when they need to, slow when they should, and learn from whatever happens next.

Stop waiting for certainty. Start building conviction.
It's that you're optimizing for other people's comfort instead of your own results.

I see this pattern across my portfolio companies and with the Fortune 100 leaders I coach:
* The women who stay stuck spend their energy managing how others perceive them. The ones who break through focus on managing their own performance.
* You don't have imposter syndrome.
You have: → Strategy syndrome (no clear positioning plan)
→ Boundary syndrome (saying yes to everything)
→ Metric syndrome (measuring likability instead of impact)
* Here's what I tell my clients: Stop asking "Will they think I'm qualified?" Start asking "What evidence am I creating?"

Last month, a client got passed over for a VP role. Her feedback? "You're so collaborative." Translation: "You optimize for everyone else's comfort."
Six weeks later, after we repositioned her as the person who delivers results (not just consensus), she landed a Chief of Staff role reporting directly to the CEO.

The shift:
❌ "I don't want to seem pushy" ✅ "I want to seem effective"
❌ "What if they don't like my idea?" ✅ "What if my idea actually works?"
❌ "I need more experience" ✅ "I need better positioning"

The science backs this up: Neuroscience research shows we're wired to seek social acceptance. But your brain's comfort zone is not your career's growth zone. Your job isn't to make everyone comfortable. Your job is to create value, communicate it clearly, and position yourself accordingly.

Reality check: The C-suite isn't filled with the most likable people. It's filled with the most effective ones. Stop therapizing your career challenges. Start strategizing them.

What's one thing you're currently optimizing for others' comfort that's actually blocking your results?

Touchy Feely, Emotions, & Mindfulness

Emotional Agility for Leaders.
You are at the helm of a fast-growing startup, faced with a critical decision that could shape the future of your company. The clock is ticking, and the pressure is on to make the right call.
In these high-stakes moments, the ability to think on your feet is a necessity. But what sets truly successful leaders apart? It’s not just quick thinking and sharp decision-making skills—it’s the underlying foundation of emotional intelligence and agility. This is what enables them to navigate emotionally charged situations with grace, inspire their teams, and drive sustainable success.
Emotional Intelligence: The Secret Weapon of Leadership
Emotional intelligence (EQ) cultivates leaders who are self-aware, build trustful connections, and manage emotions constructively. Research shows that:
- EQ explains 58% of a leader’s job performance.
- 90% of top performers are high in EQ.
- Employees with emotionally agile managers are more engaged.
This leads to lower turnover, higher efficiency, and better performance. Here’s how EQ directly contributes to a leader’s success:
- Effective Communication: Leaders with high EQ understand and manage their own emotions, allowing them to communicate effectively, listen actively, and provide constructive feedback.
- Relationship Building: EQ enables leaders to build strong, empathetic relationships, fostering trust, collaboration, and loyalty.
- Conflict Resolution: Leaders with high EQ manage conflicts amicably, finding win-win solutions.
- Adaptability: In today’s fast-paced world, EQ helps leaders navigate change with ease and inspire their teams to do the same.
- Decision Making: EQ influences leaders’ decisions by considering both facts and emotions, leading to well-rounded and thoughtful choices.
The 4 Cornerstones of EQ
Psychologist Daniel Goleman identifies four key components of EQ: self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and relationship management. But it’s emotional agility, the ability to adapt to situations and regulate responses, that truly sets exceptional leaders apart.
Self-Awareness
Recognize and understand your own emotions, strengths, and weaknesses. Self-awareness allows you to navigate your inner landscape with clarity and insight.
Self-Regulation
Manage and control your emotions, especially in high-pressure situations. This resilience and adaptability are crucial for maintaining effectiveness.
Social Awareness
Empathize with others and understand the nuances of social interactions. This fosters a culture of empathy and inclusion.
Relationship Management
Navigate interpersonal relationships effectively. This includes communication, conflict resolution, and collaboration, which are essential for teamwork and trust.
Emotional Agility: Your Leadership Superpower
Emotional agility, a concept pioneered by psychologist Susan David, goes beyond recognizing emotions. It’s about adapting, regulating responses, and using emotions constructively, even in challenging circumstances. This ability transforms emotions into a strategic asset.
Case Studies of Emotional Agility
- Indra Nooyi (Former CEO of PepsiCo): Nooyi navigated PepsiCo through tumultuous times, steering towards healthier products while maintaining financial stability.
- Mary Barra (CEO of General Motors): Barra showcased emotional agility by managing crises and strategic transformations, revitalizing GM’s industry leadership.
Encouraging Emotional Agility
As a female leader or founder, here’s how you can develop emotional agility:
Self-Awareness
Reflect on your emotional triggers, strengths, and areas for improvement. Awareness is the foundation of self-regulation.
Self-Regulation
Practice the STOP method: Stop, Take a breath, Observe your thoughts and feelings, and Proceed with intention. This helps you respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.
Social Awareness
Develop empathy and attunement to others’ emotions. Actively listen and validate your team members’ experiences, fostering psychological safety and trust.
Relationship Management
Encourage open communication and constructive conflict resolution. Promote transparency, feedback, and collaboration to build resilient teams.
Assess Your Emotional Agility
Gauge your current level of emotional agility with a brief self-evaluation. Reflecting on your responses will provide insights into your growth areas and help you pave the way for continued development.
Unlocking Your Leadership Potential
In a world of constant change, emotional agility is a necessary leadership tool. By developing this skill, you can navigate complexity with confidence, inspire resilience, and drive success.
Embrace the journey toward emotional agility and watch your leadership potential unfold in remarkable ways. What will be your first step in mastering emotional agility?
Mindfulness isn’t just some touchy-feely concept that belongs outside the hustle of startup life. As someone who’s been through the roller coaster of leading a hyper growth company, I can tell you firsthand that these techniques helped save my life. Mindfulness is a game-changer. It’s a powerful tool (or set of resources and way of looking at the world!) that can enhance your focus, decision-making, expand your window of emotional tolerance, and enhance overall well-being—exactly what you need in the high-stakes, high-stress world of leading a company.
What is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness is about being fully present in the moment, not ruminating about the past or being fixated about what may or may not happen in the future. You are aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment in the present. It's about observing your experiences with a sense of objectivity and recognizing habitual patterns of thinking. You begin to see your own patterns. This awareness lets you react consciously, to have choice, rather than to react reflevely, giving you the power to change course more quickly, when you need.
You can start practicing mindfulness simply by taking deliberate, deep breaths whenever you feel stressed. Another effective way is through meditation, which involves focusing on your breath, a sensation, or a mantra in a quiet, comfortable spot. Regular practice can enhance your awareness, emotional regulation, and hone this ability to have choice in where your mind goes.
Other mindfulness practices include yoga, journaling, spening time in nature, and even being mindful during everyday activities like eating or showering. That is, being keenly aware of physiological and sensorial experiences.
Why is Mindfulness Important for Leaders?
Mindfulness equips leaders with essential tools especially in fast-paced environments where change and instability are the norm.
Stress Management: Mindfulness helps you manage stress and anxiety. This can be a lifesaver for your team. Lowering stress and anxiety allows you to access more of your natural talents and creativity. It enables you to choose your response in stressful situations rather than acting on impulse or fear or anger. The need for executive presence and making you calmer and more focused under pressure only grows as your company and team grow.
Inner Critic & Saboteur Management: Mindfulness boosts self-awareness and helps you manage your inner critic. and saboteurs— those voices that come from past difficulties and traumas or seek to limit you. By accepting your thoughts and feelings without judgment, you can recognize and counter these negative talk tracks and increase your confidence.
Relationship Building: Mindfulness enhances empathy and situational awareness, which are crucial for building strong relationships across the diverse range of stakeholders you need to work with daily. Being fully present in these interactions makes you more engaged and effective in communication, fostering a healthier teamwork, co-founder relationship, strong ties to your investors and customers.
Decision-Making: Mindfulness improves decision-making by helping you stay centered and objective, allowing you to reason critically based on facts. Studies show that mindfulness activates parts of the brain associated with rational thinking, allowing you to make better decisions under pressure.
Creativity: Mindfulness fosters creativity and innovation. It helps you break free from routine thinking and explore new perspectives, which is invaluable in startup land where innovation is Queen.
Mindfulness Benefits the Entire Team
Mindfulness isn’t just for individual leaders—it can benefit your entire team. Research shows that workplace mindfulness is linked to better job performance, lower turnover intentions, and higher engagement. Even a few minutes of daily mindfulness can make employees more helpful and productive.
How to Encourage Mindfulness in Your Company
1. Create a Mindful Culture: Connect mindfulness benefits to your organization’s values and lead by example.
2. Offer Training: Implement mindfulness programs or offer subscriptions to apps/programs that make mindfulness practice easily accessible.
3. Provide Resources: Set up quiet spaces for meditation and schedule the time into the team calendar.
4. Incorporate Mindfulness in Meetings: Start meetings with a brief mindfulness exercise to ensure everyone is engaged and centered. This can be as simple as taking three deep breaths before everyone begins or taking 1 minute of silence to clarify what each person wants to get out of this meeting before starting.
Getting Started with Mindfulness
If you’re new to mindfulness, start small. Take a few deep breaths when you feel stressed, and gradually build up your practice. Use tools like The Mindfulness App for guided meditations. As a leader, you can also integrate mindfulness into team activities.
Conclusion
Mindfulness is a powerful tool for leaders in the sometimes tumultuous world of startups and venture capital. It enhances focus, decision-making, and well-being, benefiting you and your team. Start small, build your practice, and encourage your team to do the same. The best thing to do is just start.
It’s been awhile since the last One-Minute! To start the fall and end this week on a joyful note— today’s topic is celebration. 🥂
Humans have a negativity bias, a tendency toward noticing threats in the environment. This instinct has kept human beings alive as a species, but hasn’t done much to foster happiness in the modern world. Our brains will always notice dangers in an effort to keep us safe, but we also need to make sure our brains notice positive things— in equal or greater measure— to nurture our overall happiness and well-being. To do this, you need to teach your brain to notice positives and celebrate them.
In effect, the modern human must rewire their brain for happiness and SYSTEMATIC CELEBRATION is the way we do that!
Research shows that holding (focusing on) an experience for 20 seconds is long enough to create positive structural changes in the brain. Doing this repeatedly helps shift our brain and bodies to look for “wins” versus excessive seeking of potential “danger”.
NEUROCHEMICALS
The happiness you feel with celebration also causes an increase in important neurochemicals. There is a surge of feel-good chemicals that make up the happiness cocktail:  * Dopamine is your own personal motivation machine. It is the secret to getting pumped and hitting goals.
* Serotonin regulates mood. Healthy levels of serotonin keep you feeling happy. Low levels of serotonin are linked to depression.
* Endorphins are the chemicals searing through your body when you finish a run, giving you the feeling of being on top of the world.
Celebrations Are A Neurochemical Triple Threat
Dopamine can be triggered by reward, serotonin by community, and endorphins by laughter. Celebrations are a medley of all three triggers, and all three neurotransmitters combined contribute to the feelings of closeness, connection, and happiness that come with celebrations large and small.
Solo Celebration Habits 🙏
The Three Good Things exercise, also known as “The Three Blessings,” is arguably one of the most wellknown positive psychology interventions. This exercise entails writing down 3 things that went well and reflecting on these things at the end of each day (Seligman, et al, 2005). In a study by Seligman, participants were asked to write down three good things that happened to them each day, for one week.
The results showed that this daily activity had a significant impact on reported levels of well-being and depression. Moreover, for participants who continued the exercise beyond the suggested 1 week, it was found that the activity increased happiness and decreased symptoms of depression for up to 6 months of follow-up. In another study, reported in Seligman’s book Authentic happiness, even more profound effects were observed. Work this Solo Celebration Habit into your evening ritual— the science says it works.
The Science of Team Celebration 👯‍♂️
When we receive public praise and support, we unlock these powerful set of neurochemical patterns that cascade positive chemistry throughout the brain— the Happiness Cocktail returns. Highly motivated employees describe the feeling of performing well as an almost drug-like state.
Numerous studies show how the brain processes reward information. “When something is really good, you go back for it again,” he says. “Thus, by praising the accomplishments of a colleague or employee amongst their peers, we are contributing to creating healthy behavioral patterns that will be repeated more often. Celebration and dopamine is a reward to our brains like treats are to animals.” Wolfram (Cambridge, 2002)
Group Celebration Reduces Bad Chemicals 🪩
While elevating the level of “feel good” hormones with positive conversations, the level of cortisol is significantly lowered. Cortisol has been shown to damage and kill cells in the hippocampus (the brain area responsible for your episodic memory) and there is robust evidence that excessive cortisol shuts down learning, creates anxiety attacks, can cause depression, and premature brain-aging.
The words of acknowledgement, encouragement, and support, especially when granted to a person under much stress, calms their amygdala- their mediated response of fight-flight-freeze - allowing them to move into a more thoughtful and calm state.
So, for this weekend— how will you celebrate? Who can you celebrate and praise on your team? What are 3 things that went well today?
As virtual work has become the new norm, practicing mindfulness in the digital landscape is crucial for maintaining focus, reducing stress, and fostering well-being.
Here are 10 practical tips to help you stay mindful and centered in virtual work environments, empowering you to navigate the challenges, and seize the opportunities of remote work with grace and clarity.
1. Create a Mindful Morning Routine
Start your day mindfully by setting aside a few moments for a morning routine that aligns your mind and body. Consider meditation, deep breathing exercises, or a calming cup of tea before diving into work. This practice can create a positive tone for the day ahead and enhance your focus.
2. Designate a Sacred Workspace
Choose a specific area in your home as your designated workspace. Keep it clutter-free, well-organized, and personalized with items that bring you joy. Having a dedicated workspace helps create a mental boundary between work and personal life, promoting focus during working hours.
3. Set Clear Boundaries and Schedules
Establish clear boundaries between work and personal time. Create a schedule that includes dedicated breaks, lunchtime, and a defined end-of-day routine. Adhering to a consistent schedule enhances mindfulness by allowing you to be fully present in each moment.
4. Practice Mindful Transitions
Use brief mindfulness exercises during transitions between tasks or meetings. Take a minute to focus on your breath or stretch your body, grounding yourself before moving on to the next activity.
5. Limit Multitasking
Resist the temptation to multitask. Instead, practice single-tasking by focusing on one task at a time. Mindfully immerse yourself in each project, enhancing productivity and quality of work. If some important but unrelated task or idea comes to mind, jot it down instead of switching direction.
6. Practice Active Listening
During virtual meetings, practice active listening by fully engaging with the speaker and maintaining eye contact through the camera. Mindful listening fosters better understanding and helps you contribute more effectively.
7. Implement Digital Detoxes
Set aside dedicated time for digital detoxes. Step away from screens during breaks and after work hours. Use this time to reconnect with nature, practice mindfulness, or engage in hobbies that bring joy and relaxation.
8. Pause and Breathe
When feeling overwhelmed or stressed, take mindful pauses throughout the day. Close your eyes, take deep breaths, and let go of tension. Mindful breathing helps restore focus and brings a sense of calmness.
9. Mindful Eating
Pay attention to your meals and practice mindful eating. Savor each bite, chew slowly, and appreciate the nourishment your food provides. This practice promotes better digestion and healthier eating.
10. Practice Gratitude
End your workday with a gratitude practice. Reflect on the positive aspects of your day and express appreciation for accomplishments, both big and small. Cultivating gratitude enhances overall well-being and encourages a positive mindset.
In virtual work environments, mindfulness is a powerful tool that empowers us to stay focused, reduce stress, and maintain a healthy work-life balance. By incorporating these 10 mindfulness tips into your daily routine, you can create a more mindful and grounded virtual work experience, enabling you to thrive in the digital landscape with clarity and resilience. Embrace the journey of mindfulness and watch it transform not only your work life but also your overall well-being.
The Mindful Founder’s Toolkit: 10 Practices and Techniques for Startup Founders
By S.K. Lee, Former Founder, Coach + Investor at Launch Coaching Lab
Being a founder is both an exhilarating job and also an incredibly demanding one, too. From my own experience as a startup founder and now as a founder coach and investor, I know the toll it can take on your mental and physical well-being. While growing my first company from 3 employees to over 175, I passed out from exhaustion 3 times while in meetings with my team. This is why mindfulness isn't just a nice-to-have—I believe it is an essential tool for the startup founder. Here are ten practices and techniques to help you lead with clarity, resilience, and effectiveness as you launch.
1. Mindful Breathing Start your day with a simple breathing exercise to center yourself. Take slow, deep breaths, focusing on the sensation and temperature of your breath entering and leaving your body. This helps ground you in the present moment and promotes calmness. Start with 5, work up to 10, then daily get to the number equal to your current age in deep mindful breath on a daily basis.
2. Body Scan Meditation Dedicate time for a body scan meditation. Close your eyes and shift your attention to different parts of your body starting with the top of your head and moving down to the tip of your toes, observing every sensation or area of tension. This practice enhances awareness of your body, promotes relaxation, and is a great way to shift your mindset after a particularly tough conversation/meeting.
3. Mindful Listening Practice active and attentive listening in your interactions. Give your full presence to the person speaking by maintain eye contact and listen without interrupting or formulating responses. Listen to what they are saying, what they are not saying, and also their physiological changes- movements in their body and breath. You’ll find you get a lot more data from the conversation and it also fosters deeper connections and understanding.
4. Gratitude Journaling Spend a few minutes each day reflecting on and writing down things you are grateful for. End your day by noting items down in a journal before sleeping. Prime your brain for a positive mindset the next day, increases resilience, and helps you appreciate the little wins and the people and experiences in your life in the moment.
5. Mindful Communication Incorporate mindfulness into your communication style. Before responding, pause, reflect, and choose your words consciously. Consider the impact of your words and strive for clear, compassionate, and authentic communication.
6. Mindful Time Management Apply mindfulness to how you manage your time and prioritize tasks. Regularly evaluate your commitments, assess their alignment with your values and goals, and make intentional choices about where to allocate your time and energy. This helps reduce overwhelm and increases productivity.
7. Mindful Self-Care Prioritize self-care as an essential aspect of mindful leadership. Engage in activities that nurture your well-being, such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, or spending time in nature. Taking care of yourself enhances resilience, creativity, and overall leadership effectiveness.
8. Mindful Decision-Making Integrate mindfulness into your decision-making process. Pause and create space for reflection before making important choices. Pay attention to your intuition, consider different perspectives, and align your decisions with your values and long-term goals. This can look like one extra beat after someone finishes speaking before you answer.
9. Mindful Work-Life Integration Foster a healthy work-life integration by setting boundaries and creating moments of mindful transition between work and personal life. Rituals of transition can take just a few minutes a day but generate much more in returns. Practice being fully present in each context, allowing for greater focus, work satisfaction, and overall happiness.
10. Mindful Leadership Development Seek out opportunities for continuous learning and personal growth. Engage in leadership development programs, attend mindfulness workshops, and carve out time for reflection on who you are becoming as a leader and where your next growth edge needs to be.
By incorporating these practices and techniques into your leadership journey, you can cultivate mindfulness, enhance self-awareness, and lead with authenticity, compassion, and effectiveness. At Launch Coaching Lab, we're committed to empowering startup founders through mindful practices and helping unlock your full potential as a leader.

Leadership Frameworks & Research-backed Techniques

The Real Deal on Being a Startup CEO
Being a startup founder means wearing multiple hats and constantly shifting priorities. But what exactly does your role as "CEO" entail? And how does it differ from simply being a founder? Let's cut through the noise and get to the three things you need to master.
Founder vs. CEO: Two Different Mindsets
First, let's establish something important—being a founder and being a CEO are not the same thing, though they often start as the same person. For a period of time, you may eve vacillate between what feels more “founder” and what feels like “CEO” duties.
🌱 The Founder is the initiator who identifies an opportunity and takes action. You're the one who built the first version, convinced early adopters, and validated the concept. You created something from nothing through sheer will, technical skill, and/or market insight.
🪴 The CEO, however, is a specific leadership role focused on execution and scale. While founders create companies, CEOs build organizations that outlast individuals. As your startup grows, you need to evolve from "the person with the idea" to "the builder of a sustainable organization."
The reality? As a founder-CEO, you're responsible for this evolution—transitioning from entrepreneur to executive while turning your company from concept to institution.
What a CEO Actually Does: The Core Responsibilities
In his post "What A CEO Does," Fred Wilson shares this advice from a veteran VC:
A CEO does only three things. Sets the overall vision and strategy of the company and communicates it to all stakeholders. Recruits, hires and retains the very best talent for the company. Makes sure there's always enough cash in the bank.
This framework cuts through the ambiguity of the CEO's job. Let's break down each component:
1) Set the Vision and Strategy
'The future is already here — it's just not very evenly distributed.' — William Gibson
A clear vision aligns your team and guides decision-making at all levels. But let's be practical about what vision really is:
A vision is a realistic story about the future, based on a logical extrapolation of the present
Seeing things as they actually are—not as you wish them to be—requires discipline and perspective. WHILE, holding the future state firmly on the horizon line. This is why effective CEOs step back from operations regularly to look at the full chessboard from a birds eye view, seek diverse viewpoints, and must develop keen self-management skills.
Your ability to articulate this vision matters. In "Hypergrowth and The Law of Startup Physics," Khalid Halim shares that while companies outgrow people's technical skills, founders adapt because storytelling scales:
[It's] the one thing humans can do that is exponential: thought, which extended turns into story or vision
As CEO, communication is part of your job. If you're not naturally good at it, it is imperative to develop this skill deliberately.
2) Build the Team
'It takes a village to raise a child.' — Proverb
Your primary responsibility is assembling and developing a high-performing leadership team. The goal is straightforward: hire people better than you, then help them succeed.
Building your team includes two often-avoided responsibilities:
1. Making tough personnel decisions - Removing people who aren't performing or aren't the right fit. Nobody enjoys this, but delay hurts everyone. (Hire slow, fire fast!)
2. Cultivating your external network - Advisors, industry experts, potential investors, and strategic partners form an "extended team" that provides leverage beyond your org chart.
3) Manage Cash Flow
'Cash is to a business as oxygen is to an individual: never thought about when it is present, the only thing in mind when it is absent.' — Warren Buffet
Cash flow management has three practical components:
1. Fundraising - Investor relations consume significant CEO time because investors expect direct access to the CEO.
2. Revenue generation - Closing strategic sales or partnerships that materially impact your top line often requires your involvement. Complete delegation of this function is rarely possible in early stages.
3. Cost control - After raising capital, there's pressure to deploy it quickly. Monitor your burn rate closely and be prepared to make necessary cuts before they become emergencies.
The Founder-to-CEO Transition: What Changes
As founders evolve into CEOs, they undergo several critical shifts:
1. From Doing to Leading - Stop being the primary doer and start being the primary enabler
2. From Control to Trust - Build systems and teams you can trust rather than checking everything personally for quality control
3. From Expertise to Learning - Shift from being the domain expert to becoming adept at learning new domains constnatly (including shifting leadership skills!)
4. From Problem-Solving to Problem-Framing - Move from solving problems yourself to helping others define problems worth solving
Effective founder-CEOs maintain their entrepreneurial drive while developing executive discipline. They combine the founder's conviction with the CEO's strategic perspective. This parallel life lasts for some time in startup land— it’s normal and ok.
Getting Shit Done as CEO
When you have more responsibilities than time, you must:
1. Delegate aggressively - As Jeff Seibert advises: "Look at where you're spending your time and fire yourself from that position." Perform the role, then hire someone better.
2. Prioritize ruthlessly - When resources are tight, focus only on what moves the needle. The urgent will always compete with the important—choose the important.
3. Create systems - Build processes that handle routine decisions without your involvement.
4. Protect your capacity - Maintain your ability to think clearly by managing your energy and focus. The company can't afford a burned-out CEO.
The Bottom Line on Being CEO
The CEO role is demanding, complex, and sometimes thankless. But it's also straightforward if you focus on what matters: vision, people, and cash flow.
Is your strategy clear to everyone? Have you assembled the right team to execute it? Do they have the resources they need to win? If not, those are your priorities.
Anyone can become a founder by starting something. Becoming an effective CEO requires systematic execution, relentless focus, and continuous adaptation. The best founder-CEOs leverage their founding insights while developing the leadership capabilities to make those insights reality.
Now, let’s get to work my friend.
As always, rooting for you 🙌, SK
On the North Coast we are getting scarf-worthy weather as we launch into week 1 of 2025. This is a good time to set/reset/remind ourselves where we want to be by December 31, 2025. Here is one framework that I have found invaluable personally and priceless for my leaders… introducing 🧣.
What Is the SCARF Model?
For some years David Rock has been exploring the field of neuroscience and its implications for management, coaching, and organizational life. Much of Rock's thinking is distilled in "Managing with the Brain in Mind" and "SCARF: A brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others." The SCARF model referenced in both pieces refers to Rock's framework for understanding the five primary social dimensions within which our brains respond to perceived threats and rewards. From Rock's "SCARF..." paper:
Two themes are emerging from social neuroscience.
Firstly, that much of our motivation driving social behavior is governed by an overarching organizing principle of minimizing threat and maximizing reward (Gordon, 2000).
Secondly, that several domains of social experience draw upon the same brain networks to maximize reward and minimize threat as the brain networks used for primary survival needs (Lieberman and Eisenberger, 2008).
In other words, social needs are treated in much the same way in the brain as the need for food and water.
As a leader, when you view an idea, opportunity, person— it comes down to two basic directions your brain will move based on social context: “Is this a THREAT or is this a REWARD?”
Whether you see a threat vs a reward, changes the way you LEAD.
SCARF stands for the five key "domains" that influence our behavior in social situations.
1. (S)tatus – our relative importance to others.
2. (C)ertainty – our ability to predict the future.
3. (A)utonomy – our sense of control over events.
4. (R)elatedness – how safe we feel with others.
5. (F)airness – how fair we perceive the exchanges between people to be.
The model is based on neuroscience research that implies that these five social domains activate the same threat and reward in our brain that we rely on for physical survival-- the Lizard Brain -or- Your Instinct.
This "primitive" reaction helps to explain the sometimes strong emotional reactions that we can have to social situations – and why it's often hard to control them. It's instinct, and unfortunately we can't just "turn off our fundamental human programming.”
Example: When we are left out of an activity, we might perceive it as a threat to our status and relatedness. Research shows that this response can stimulate the same region of the brain as physical pain. In other words, our brain is sending out the signal that we're in danger.
When we feel threatened – either physically or socially – the release of cortisol (the "stress hormone") affects our creativity and productivity. We literally can't think straight, and this increases the feeling of being threatened.
On the other hand, when we feel rewarded (for instance, when we receive praise for our work) our brains release dopamine – the "happy hormone." And we want more. We seek out ways to be rewarded again.
More to Read: This concept is closely related to Barbara Frederickson's Broaden and Build Theory, which states that, generally, the safer and happier we feel, the better we perform.
How Does the SCARF Model Apply in business?
Feeling threatened blocks our creativity, reduces our ability to solve problems, and makes it harder for us to communicate and collaborate with others. But, when we feel rewarded, our self-confidence increases, we feel empowered, and we want to do a good job.
The SCARF Model can help you to minimize perceived threats, and to maximize the positive feelings generated through reward when working with others. Doing this can help us to collaborate better, to bring coaching leadership to your teams, and to provide more effective feedback.
How to Use the SCARF Model
Use the following practical tips to maximize your teams' sense of reward and to minimize perceived threats, for each domain of the SCARF Model:
🎖️ STATUS
Eliminate Threats: mishandling feedback can threaten someone's sense of status, and can cause anger and defensiveness. A gentler approach offers them the chance to evaluate their performance first. Try to reframe the feedback in a more positive way. Or, perhaps you feel that your status as a leader is threatened by highly talented people on your own team. This may cause you to "lash out" or even downplay their ideas or focus on mistakes, even minor ones. You can avoid this kind of self-sabotaging behavior by facing your fears and challenging them. Learn to appreciate the positive aspects of your team – this will help you to get the best from them.
Maximize Reward: give your team regular praise when they perform well, and provide them with opportunities to develop.Give them more responsibility, involve them in new projects. However, avoid over-promoting, particularly if they aren't quite ready.
⏱️ CERTAINTY
Minimize Threats: when we're uncertain of something, the orbital frontal cortex of our brains starts to work overtime as it attempts to make sense of the unknown. This can cause us to feel threatened and to lose focus. Reduce the likelihood of this happening by breaking down complex processes into smaller, more understandable chunks. And, to help people to cope better with uncertainty, encourage them to develop flexibility and resilience.
Maximize Reward: the human brain prefers predictability. When we know what to expect, we feel safe. This safety is a reward in itself, and you can maximize it by being clear with what you expect from your team no matter how uncertain the wider environment is.
💪 AUTONOMY
Minimize Threats: micromanagement is the biggest threat to autonomy. Show that you trust your team/partner’s judgment by including them in decision-making processes and sharing responsibilities. Don’t hold on too tightly to things you do not need to do yourself.
Maximize Reward: encourage autonomy by rewarding initiative to take on more responsibility and initiative. Encourage freedom and innovations, failing fast, iteration.
💞 RELATEDNESS
Minimize Threats: a lack of relatedness can leave us feeling isolated and lonely. This can reduce creativity, commitment and collaboration. Combat this by introducing mentoring arrangements or pairing leaders in teams or triads. And take particular care to check in regularly with vulnerable team members and remote teammates.
Maximize Reward: when we connect with others, our brains release the hormone oxytocin (aka the "love hormone"). The more oxytocin that's released, the more connected we feel. So, work to build up strong team bonds by scheduling in regular one-on-ones, or team-building events to create this feeling of connectedness.
⚖️ FAIRNESS
Minimize Threats: if someone believes something to be unfair, it will activate her insular cortex – the region of the brain that is linked to disgust. This results in a powerful threat response. Minimize the impact of this by being open and honest in leading your team insofar as it is appropriate to do so. Encourage mutual acceptance, and be intentional about your language to help create a sense of inclusion and belonging.
Maximize Rewards: unfairness will more likely occur where there is a lack of rules, expectations or objectives. Setting up a Team Charter, which clarifies individual goals and roles, team hierarchy, and day-to-day operations, can remedy this. But remember to get your people's input and approval before you implement.
Using SCARF in your leadership is not rocket science-- it is, in fact, really just understanding our 'Lizard Brains' and having some compassion for our very human instincts.
Supercharge Your Team: The Coaching Mindset Every Startup Leader Needs
Leaders hold significant sway over their teams’ engagement levels—studies indicate they are responsible for a staggering 70% of the variance. Simply put, managers (and leaders at all levels of an organization) are crucial in determining how invested their team members are in their work.
However, this responsibility doesn’t come without its own set of challenges.
“Forty-two percent of leaders strongly agree that they have multiple competing priorities, compared with 27% of individual contributors.”
Many managers ascend to their roles based on technical prowess, often missing the mark on leadership finesse. Consequently, they find themselves caught in a cycle of task management, neglecting the pivotal role of nurturing their team’s growth. Despite job descriptions emphasizing people development, translating theory into practice proves challenging for many.
This is where coaching steps in, not as a mere directive but as a transformative approach to empowering teams, fostering innovation, and encouraging a culture of bold ideation— A CULTURE OF COACHING LEADS TO HIGH-PERFORMING TEAMS.
So, How Can Managers Pivot Towards This Coaching Ethos?
Transitioning from the overarching concept of coaching to actionable principles, we emphasize three key practices in our leadership coaching programs to help our clients cultivate a coaching mindset. These principles serve as guiding lights for leaders and emerging leaders seeking to empower their teams and foster an environment of growth and inclusion.
1. Lead with Curiosity (Not Assumptions)
Instead of jumping to conclusions about the needs and preferences of their team members, particularly women and other represented individuals in the workplace, team leaders should actively seek feedback and insights. By posing open-ended questions and demonstrating genuine interest, you can open the door to meaningful dialogue and tailor support accordingly.
For instance, rather than assuming a female team member’s career aspirations, a manager could inquire, “What are your long-term career goals, and how can I support you in achieving them?”
2. Listen Generously
Building a culture of openness and inclusivity begins with active listening. Leaders should create a safe space for team members, allowing them to share their experiences, challenges, and aspirations without fear of judgment or dismissal. Generous listening involves not only hearing but also empathizing and validating the perspectives of team members.
For example, during one-on-one meetings, leaders should practice active listening, refrain from interrupting, and demonstrate empathy towards their team members’ experiences.
3. Pay Attention to Their Experiences
Effective coaching hinges on managers being attuned to the individual needs and experiences of their team members, including those specific to individuals on the team who may feel isolated. By acknowledging and addressing these needs, leaders can foster a supportive environment conducive to growth and performance.
Leaders should proactively inquire about the unique challenges faced by each team member, such as work-life balance, career progression, and workplace culture, and co-create support and resources if possible.
Challenges to Adopting a Coaching Mindset
While embracing a coaching mindset can lead to significant benefits for both leaders and their teams, it’s not without its challenges. Leaders may encounter various obstacles along the way as they strive to integrate coaching principles into their leadership approach. Understanding these challenges and developing strategies to overcome them is essential for successful adoption of a coaching mindset.
1. Resistance to Change
One common challenge managers may face is resistance to change, both from themselves and from the team accustomed to a different leadership style. To overcome this obstacle, managers can focus on the benefits of coaching, such as improved communication, increased engagement, and enhanced performance. By clearly articulating the rationale behind the shift towards a coaching approach and demonstrating its positive impact, managers can help alleviate resistance and garner support from their team.
2. Time Constraints
Leaders often cite time constraints as a barrier to adopting a coaching mindset. Balancing day-to-day tasks and responsibilities with the time needed to engage in coaching conversations can be challenging. One strategy for overcoming this obstacle is to prioritize coaching as an integral part of managerial duties. By integrating coaching-style questions into regular check-ins leaders can ensure that coaching is a priority despite competing demands on their time.
3. Lack of Training and Support
Another challenge managers may face is a lack of training and support in developing coaching skills. Without proper guidance and resources, managers may struggle to effectively implement coaching principles in their interactions with team members. Organizations can address this challenge by providing comprehensive training programs and ongoing support for managers interested in adopting a coaching mindset. Offering opportunities for skill development, such as workshops, coaching sessions, and peer mentoring, can help managers build confidence and proficiency in coaching techniques.
4. Fear of Failure
Fear of failure or uncertainty about how to approach coaching conversations can also hinder a leaders’ willingness to adopt a coaching mindset. To overcome this obstacle, leaders can start by focusing on small, achievable goals and gradually expanding their coaching skills over time. Seeking feedback from team members and peers can also help leaders gain confidence and identify areas for improvement in their coaching approach.
5. Maintaining Accountability
Finally, maintaining accountability for incorporating coaching principles into daily practices can be challenging, especially in the face of competing priorities and distractions. By acknowledging and addressing these challenges, managers can successfully navigate the transition towards adopting a coaching mindset and reap the rewards of empowered, engaged, and high-performing teams.
Integrating a coaching mindset is vital for effective managerial leadership, despite the inherent challenges. By acknowledging the profound influence managers wield over team engagement and growth, organizations can equip leaders to embrace coaching principles and instigate genuine transformation, fostering an inclusive environment where every team member feels valued, nurtured, and empowered to excel. It’s about cultivating a culture that fosters open communication, values diverse perspectives, and champions continuous growth.
Through Launch Coaching Lab programs, we work closely with leaders across industries, empowering them to transition into effective coaches within their roles. We recognize their pivotal role in shaping the experience of each person on their team, and we stand ready to support them every step of the way.
You've been categorized as "transformational," "situational," or "servant leader." Your team took assessments. You got a fancy framework. And your actual leadership effectiveness? Still inconsistent. 🎯
The truth: Context and capability matter more than personality-based "style." 🔥
Here's what I see in my practice: 📊
* Fortune 100 executives: Spending $200K on leadership style assessments while struggling with basic decision-making under pressure
* High-growth startups: Founders obsessing over their "leadership archetype" instead of developing situational competence
* Management teams: Using style differences to excuse poor performance instead of solving actual business problems
The cost? Leaders hiding behind labels instead of developing skills. Teams confused by inconsistent leadership approaches. Results suffering while everyone debates personality types. 📉
Case study from my portfolio: 🏅
A Series B CEO kept getting feedback that his "command-and-control style" was hurting culture. HR recommended transformational leadership training to make him more "inspiring."
The real problem: He was micromanaging product decisions (wrong context for directive leadership) while being hands-off during a funding crisis (wrong context for delegative leadership).
The shift: We stopped focusing on his "style" and started matching his leadership approach to specific business contexts and team capabilities.
Result: Team performance improved 40%, funding round closed successfully, and employee satisfaction scores increased because people knew what to expect when. 📈
The framework that actually works: ⚡
The CONTEXT-FIRST Method:
C - Current situation analysis: What does this specific moment require?
O - Outcome requirements: What results are needed right now?
N - Team capability assessment: What can your people handle independently?
T - Timeline pressures: How much time do you have for development vs. direction?
E - External factors: What market/competitive pressures exist?
X - eXecution complexity: How complicated is the implementation?
T - Trust levels: How much autonomy has this person/team earned?
F - Flex your approach: Match leadership behavior to context, not personality
I - Ignore your comfort zone: Do what the situation requires, not what feels natural
R - Results tracking: Measure effectiveness, not style consistency
S - Situational mastery: Develop competence across multiple approaches
T - Team communication: Explain why you're leading differently in different contexts
What context-first leadership looks like: 💪
Crisis moment: Directive approach regardless of your "natural style" Innovation phase: Collaborative approach even if you prefer control Routine execution: Delegative approach even if you like being involved Team development: Coaching approach even if you're task-focused
The leadership style myths that hurt performance: 🎭
Myth: "Consistency means using the same leadership style always"
+ Reality: Consistency means reliably matching your approach to what the situation requires
Myth: "Authentic leadership means never changing your natural style"
+ Reality: Authentic leadership means being genuinely committed to what works, not what feels comfortable
Myth: "Good leaders have one signature style they're known for"
+ Reality: Great leaders are known for getting results through adaptive approaches
Diagnostic questions that actually matter: 🤔
Instead of "What's my leadership style?" ask:
1. What does this specific situation require for success?
2. What's the capability level of the people involved?
3. What approach will drive the fastest path to results?
4. How can I communicate why I'm leading this way right now?
Real examples of context-first leadership: 🎯
Product launch crisis: CEO switched from collaborative style to directive—made fast decisions, assigned clear roles, daily check-ins Strategic planning phase: Same CEO switched to facilitative—asked questions, encouraged debate, built consensus on vision Team development period: Same CEO switched to coaching—regular 1:1s, skill-building focus, patient development approach
Result: Team learned to expect different leadership based on business needs, not personal mood.
The uncomfortable truth: 💡
Most leadership style frameworks are designed to make you feel good about your preferences, not make you more effective in different situations.
Practice exercise: 🏋️‍♀️
This week, identify three different situations requiring different leadership approaches:
- One needing directive leadership (crisis, new team member, urgent deadline)
- One needing collaborative leadership (strategic decision, creative problem, buy-in required)
- One needing delegative leadership (routine work, capable team member, development opportunity)
Measure: Results achieved, not style consistency.
The plot twist: The most effective leaders aren't the most "authentic" to their natural style. They're the most adaptive to what their teams and situations actually need. 🚀
Bottom line: Stop being a Leo leader or a Virgo leader. Start being a results leader who adapts to context. 🎯

Rooting for you! CoachSK
It's the most misunderstood leadership concept that's created a generation of conflict-avoidant managers who confuse being nice with being effective. 🔥
The brutal truth: When you serve comfort over results, you disservice everyone—including your team. 💡
Here's what I see in my practice: 📊
Well-intentioned executives: Avoiding difficult conversations to "serve" their team's emotional needs High-growth companies: Leaders prioritizing team happiness over mission achievement
Performance teams: Managers serving individual preferences instead of collective success
The cost? Underperformance disguised as "psychological safety." Teams that feel supported but don't deliver results. Mission failure wrapped in good intentions. 📉
Case study from my coaching practice: 🏅
A VP of Engineering prided herself on servant leadership. Her team loved her—she never pushed back on requests, always said yes to timeline extensions, and focused on making everyone comfortable.
The problem: Product launches were consistently late, technical debt was mounting, and the company was losing market position to faster competitors.
The misunderstanding: She thought serving her team meant removing all pressure and discomfort.
The shift: We redefined service as serving the mission first, which actually serves the team's long-term success.
Result: Team delivery improved 60%, technical quality increased, and team members reported feeling more proud of their work because they were achieving meaningful results. 📈
The framework that actually works: ⚡
The MISSION-FIRST Service Model:
M - Mission clarity: What are we here to achieve? I - Individual alignment: How does each person contribute to mission success? S - Standards maintenance: What performance levels does the mission require? S - Skill development: What capabilities do people need to succeed? I - Intervention when needed: When do you serve the mission by challenging the team? O - Outcome accountability: How do you measure mission progress? N - Navigate difficult conversations: When does serving require tough love?
F - Focus on growth: Serve people's development, not their comfort I - Inspire through purpose: Connect individual work to meaningful outcomes R - Remove obstacles: Clear barriers to performance, not performance expectations S - Support with challenge: Provide both safety and stretch T - Team over individual: Serve collective success over individual preferences
What mission-first service looks like: 💪
People-pleasing servant leader: "I don't want to stress the team, so let's extend the deadline" Mission-first servant leader: "I'm going to help you succeed by maintaining our commitment to customers. What support do you need?"
People-pleasing servant leader: "I won't give difficult feedback because it might hurt feelings" Mission-first servant leader: "I care about your growth too much to let you continue struggling without guidance"
People-pleasing servant leader: "Everyone should feel comfortable and happy at work" Mission-first servant leader: "Everyone should feel supported in doing their best work toward meaningful goals"
The servant leadership distortions that kill performance: 🎭
Distortion: Servant leadership means never saying no Reality: Serving means saying no to things that don't serve the mission
Distortion: Good leaders remove all pressure and stress Reality: Good leaders create productive pressure while providing support
Distortion: Team happiness is the primary goal Reality: Team fulfillment comes from achieving meaningful results together
Distortion: Avoiding conflict serves the team Reality: Addressing conflict early serves everyone's long-term success
Three questions mission-first leaders ask: 🤔
1. How does this decision serve our collective mission?
2. What does this person need to be successful, not just comfortable?
3. Am I avoiding difficult leadership because it's hard for me, not because it serves them?
Real examples of mission-first service: 🎯
Sales team underperforming: Instead of lowering targets to reduce stress, leader provides additional training and removes process obstacles Developer struggling with code quality: Instead of accepting poor work to avoid conflict, leader pairs them with mentor and sets clear improvement timeline Team member overwhelmed: Instead of just reducing workload, leader analyzes workflow inefficiencies and builds better systems
The uncomfortable truth about true service: 💡
Sometimes serving your team means disappointing them in the short term. Sometimes it means having conversations they don't want to have. Sometimes it means maintaining standards they wish were lower.
But always serving the mission serves their growth, pride, and long-term career success.
Diagnostic exercise: 🏋️‍♀️
For each team member, ask:
- What would serve their development more: comfort or challenge?
- What does the mission require from this person right now?
- Where am I avoiding difficult leadership to serve my comfort, not theirs?
The plot twist: Teams respect leaders who serve something bigger than individual preferences. They want to be part of meaningful achievement, not comfortable mediocrity. 🚀
Bottom line: Serve the mission first. That's how you actually serve your people. 🎯

Culture, Talent, & People Strategy

I love Brené Brown. Her work on shame resilience has transformed millions of lives, including mine. But we've taken her vulnerability research and misapplied it to high-stakes leadership environments where outcomes matter and people's livelihoods depend on decisions.

The uncomfortable truth: In my portfolio, the most effective leaders aren't the most vulnerable ones. They're the most COMPETENT, CLEAR, and CARING ones. 3C's to reframe vulnerability for high performers.

🏆 The Vulnerability Trap in Leadership .
🎯 Vulnerability w/out competence is just oversharing.

I've watched too many well-intentioned leaders confuse authentic leadership with emotional transparency. They share their struggles, their fears, their uncertainties—thinking this builds trust + connection.

What actually happens: ❌
* Teams lose confidence in decision-making capability
* Direct reports become emotional caretakers instead of high performers
* Strategic clarity gets muddied by personal processing
* Psychological safety becomes psychological burden
Research says: While vulnerability can build connection in therapeutic or personal contexts, in performance environments it must be paired with demonstrated competence to maintain credibility + trust. 🧠

Redefining Care vs. Vulnerability 💡
Vulnerability = Exposing uncertainty + emotional needs
Care = Demonstrating investment in others' success + wellbeing ❤️

Vulnerability in leadership often sounds like: 😟
"I'm really struggling with this decision" ; "I don't know if I'm the right person for this role" ; "I'm having a hard time personally and it's affecting my work"

Care in leadership sounds like: ✨
"Here's what I'm seeing in your performance and how we can optimize it"
"I'm investing in your development because I see your potential"
"Let me remove this obstacle so you can focus on your strengths"

🎯The distinction: Vulnerability centers on the leader's emotional experience. Care centers on the team member's growth and success.

🚀The 3C Framework for High-Performance Leadership: After coaching Fortune 100 executives + analyzing patterns across my portco's, these are the three non-negotiable traits that drive both performance + psychological safety.

The Bottom Line 💯
* Your team doesn't need you to be vulnerable. They need you to be reliable.
* They need to know that:
+ You can handle the pressure so they can focus on their work (Competence)
+ You'll give them clear direction so they're not guessing (Clarity)
+ You're genuinely invested in their success, not just using them for results (Care)

Vulnerability without competence is anxiety-inducing. 😰 Competence without care is exploitative. 💔 Care without clarity is confusing. 🤷‍♀️
All three together? That's how you build both high performance and psychological safety. 🚀.

Rooting for you,
SK
"Culture fit" has become corporate-speak for "reminds me of myself." And it's killing your company's growth potential. 🎯
The brutal truth: Most hiring managers confuse comfort with competence. 💡
Here's what I see across my portfolio companies: 📊
Series A startups: Hiring 12 versions of the founder, then wondering why they can't scale Growth-stage companies: "Cultural fit" assessments that screen for social similarity, not performance capability Established firms: Homogeneous teams producing predictable results while competitors innovate past them
The cost? Groupthink. Stagnant innovation. Market blind spots that cost millions. 📉
Case study from my coaching practice: 🏅
A Series B SaaS company couldn't crack the enterprise market after 18 months of trying. Their product was solid, pricing competitive, but deals kept stalling.
The problem: Their entire sales team was 28-35 year old tech natives who "fit the culture" perfectly. They spoke startup, not boardroom.
The shift: We hired a 45-year-old enterprise sales veteran who didn't "fit" their ping-pong culture but understood how CFOs actually make buying decisions.
Result: Enterprise revenue grew 300% in 8 months. The "culture misfit" became their top performer and trained the whole team on enterprise selling. 📈
The framework that transforms hiring: ⚡
The CULTURE ADD Method:
C - Competence: Can they do the job exceptionally well? U - Unique perspective: What viewpoint do they bring that we lack? L - Learning catalyst: Will they make the team smarter? T - Team dynamics: Do they elevate others' performance? U - Untapped potential: What new capabilities could they unlock? R - Results orientation: Are they obsessed with outcomes? E - Evolving culture: Will they help us grow, not just fit?
What culture add looks like in practice: 💪
Culture fit asks: "Will they blend in seamlessly?" Culture add asks: "What will they help us become?"
Culture fit seeks: People who won't disrupt existing patterns Culture add seeks: People who will disrupt limiting patterns
Culture fit prioritizes: Social comfort and shared backgrounds Culture add prioritizes: Cognitive diversity and complementary strengths
The uncomfortable questions to ask: 🤔
1. Are we hiring people who challenge our assumptions or confirm them?
2. What perspectives are missing from our team that are costing us opportunities?
3. Would our last 5 hires improve performance if they all left tomorrow?
Real examples of culture add in action: 🎯
Tech startup hired a former teacher: Transformed their user onboarding because she understood how people actually learn Finance firm hired a theater major: Revolutionized their client presentations and won 40% more pitches Consulting company hired an introvert: Created better research processes while extroverted teammates focused on client relationships
The diversity truth nobody talks about: 🌟
It's not about demographics. It's about cognitive diversity. You can hire people who look different but think exactly the same—that's diversity theater, not culture add.
What to look for instead: 💡
- Different problem-solving approaches
- Varied industry experience
- Complementary thinking styles
- Fresh perspectives on old challenges
- Skills that fill actual gaps
Practice exercise: 🏋️‍♀️
Before your next hire, ask:
- What capability gap does this role fill?
- What perspective are we missing?
- How will this person make our existing team better?
- What will they help us become?
The plot twist: The best "culture add" hires often become culture carriers—they don't destroy your values, they evolve them. 🚀
Bottom line: Culture fit builds teams that get along. Culture add builds teams that get ahead. 🎯
What's one way your team is too similar that might be limiting your results?

Rooting for you, SK

Performance Coaching for Leaders

You ARE amazing—that's not the question. The question is: are you performing at the level your amazing-ness deserves? You need someone who sees your potential AND will show you exactly where you're leaving performance on the table.

My approach: Half tiger mom, Half touchy-feely. I'll hold space for your struggles, then push you toward solutions. 🔥 Real transformation happens when you have both challenge AND safety.

Here's what I see:
* High-achieving executives: Getting "you're doing great" feedback while their teams underperform
* Successful founders: Surrounded by yes-people instead of caring advisors who challenge their thinking
* Top performers: Paying for coaching that makes them feel better temporarily, not perform better consistently

🏅Case study from my practice: Series B founder came to me after 18 months of "transformational" coaching. He felt great about himself but his burn rate was 2x industry standard, team turnover was 40%, and investors were asking hard questions (as they should!).
* Previous coach approach: You're a visionary leader. Trust your instincts. Believe in yourself.
* Tiger Mom+Touchy Feely: I see how much pressure you're under, and I believe in your vision. AND your decision-making process is costing you $200K/month. Let's work together to fix it while honoring what's working.
⚡ Result: He felt supported through the transition, reduced burn by 35%, team retention improved to 90%, closed Series C ahead of schedule.

What performance coaching actually looks like:
x Cheerleader says: "You've got this! Follow your dreams!"
+ Performance coach says: "I believe in your capability AND I see a pattern in your last three strategic decisions. Let's explore what's happening."
x Cheerleader says: "Trust your gut!"
* Performance coach says: "Your intuition is valuable AND the data shows it's off-target 60% of the time on this decision type. Let's build a framework that honors both."

💪 Three things I do differently:
(1) Challenge with care: "I see how hard you're working, AND that strategy isn't serving you here. Let's figure out why together."
(2) Support systems: "Your passion is evident AND you need better processes to channel it effectively."
(3) Measure with compassion: "Feeling confident matters AND delivering results creates sustainable confidence."

🔥The AND approach: Instead of dismissing feelings, I acknowledge them AND provide performance focus. Your emotions matter, and so do your results. 💡

Real talk: If your coach never challenges you, you're not growing. If your coach never provides safety, you won't trust the process. Growth happens in the sweet spot between challenge AND care.

Bottom line: You can hire a cheerleader or you can hire a performance coach who genuinely cares about your success. Which do you actually need: validation, or support + transformation?

As always, rooting for you, CoachSK 🙌
You're paying $500/hour for someone to ask how you feel about leadership challenges instead of helping you actually solve them. 🔥
The brutal truth: Real coaching happens in the moments that matter, not in scheduled feel-good sessions. 💡
Here's what I see across executive coaching: 📊
Fortune 500 companies: Spending $100K+ on coaching that creates insights but not behavior change High-growth startups: Founders getting monthly "check-ins" instead of real-time decision support Executive teams: Hour-long sessions that feel productive but don't improve actual performance
The cost? Leaders who can articulate their challenges beautifully but still make the same mistakes. Coaching that builds self-awareness without building competence. 📉
When you actually need a coach: ⚡
❌ Wrong reasons: You want validation, someone to listen, general leadership development
✅ Right reasons: You're facing specific performance gaps, making expensive mistakes repeatedly, or scaling into unfamiliar territory
❌ Wrong timing: When everything is going well and you want to "invest in growth"
✅ Right timing: When the stakes are high and current approaches aren't working
❌ Wrong focus: Processing feelings about leadership challenges
✅ Right focus: Building specific capabilities to handle pressure situations
What makes a coach actually effective: 🏅
Red flags:
- Asks "How did that make you feel?" more than "What will you do differently?"
- Has never been in your type of high-pressure environment
- Focuses on insights over behavior change
- Measures success by client satisfaction, not performance improvement
Green flags:
- Has operated at your level or higher in similar contexts
- Gives specific, actionable guidance you can implement immediately
- Challenges your thinking while providing concrete alternatives
- Measures success by your results, not your feelings about the process
The coaching model that actually drives change: 🚀
Traditional coaching: Monthly hour-long sessions to "process" leadership challenges
+ Performance coaching: Real-time support when decisions actually matter. (aka CoachSK’s Leaders Hotline!)
Example: The Founders / Leaders Hotline approach
💡 Instead of waiting 2 weeks to discuss a difficult board conversation in your next session, you text: "Board member just challenged our burn rate publicly. How do I respond without getting defensive?"
💡 Immediate response: "Acknowledge the concern, share your data, ask for specific guidance. Try: 'You're right to flag this. Here's our 90-day plan to optimize spend. What additional visibility would help you feel confident?'"
Why async, on-demand coaching works: 💪
1. Real-time application: Get guidance when you actually need it, not when it's convenient to schedule
2. Situational learning: Address specific moments instead of abstract concepts
3. Behavior reps: Practice new approaches immediately while context is fresh
4. Sustained support: Daily coaching touch points vs. monthly marathon sessions
5. Context preservation: Capture the actual situation instead of reconstructing it later
What good coaching actually looks like: 🎯
Before difficult conversation: "I need to tell my co-founder his product timeline is unrealistic. How do I do this without damaging our relationship?" Coaching: "Lead with shared outcome: 'I want us to succeed with this launch. I have concerns about timeline that I need to share. Can we walk through the plan together?'" After: "How did it go? What would you do differently next time?"
Before investor meeting: "Investor is asking about competitive threats. I don't want to sound defensive." Coaching: "Acknowledge directly, then pivot to differentiation: 'Competition validates market size. Here's why customers choose us: [specific advantages]. Want to see our win/loss data?'"
Before team restructure: "I need to eliminate a role but keep the person. Ideas?"
Coaching: "Reframe as evolution: 'Your skills are valuable and our needs are evolving. Here's a role that uses your strengths for our new priorities.' Have three options ready."
The truth about executive development: You need more self-awareness AND you need more situational competence.
Making the most of any coaching relationship: 🏋️‍♀️
1. Come with specific situations: Not general development goals
2. Test recommendations immediately: Don't wait until next session
3. Focus on behavior change: Measure what you do differently, not how you feel
4. Demand real-world experience: Your coach should understand your actual environment
5. Expect challenge: If you're always comfortable, you're not growing
When to bring coaching to your team: 📈
- Individual contributor → manager: They need decision-making frameworks, not motivation
- Manager → director: They need delegation and strategic thinking skills
- Director → VP: They need cross-functional leadership and stakeholder management
- VP → C-suite: They need board dynamics and organizational design capability
Bottom line: Stop paying for expensive conversations about leadership. Start investing in real-time capability building that drives performance when stakes are highest.

As always, rooting for you, SK

Leadership in the Age of AI

You've implemented ChatGPT, Notion AI, and 12 other tools. Your team is "AI-enabled." Yet productivity hasn't meaningfully improved. 🎯
The brutal truth: You're treating AI like a tech problem when it's actually a workflow problem. 🔥
Here's what I see across my portfolio companies: 📊
Series B startups: Spending $50K/month on AI tools while core processes remain broken Growth companies: Teams using AI to automate busywork instead of eliminating it entirely
Enterprises: Rolling out AI without changing the meetings, approvals, and handoffs that actually slow things down
The cost? Expensive tools producing minimal ROI. Teams burned out on "productivity solutions" that create more work. 📉
Case study from my portfolio: 🏅
A seed-stage founder was frustrated watching competitors implement AI faster while her team struggled with tool selection paralysis.
The breakthrough: Instead of hiring consultants or buying more tools, she invited a tech founder from another company to share one practical AI implementation with her team each week for 8 weeks.
What happened: Her team went from AI-curious to AI-fluent in 2 months. They stopped debating which tools to buy and started rapidly testing what actually worked for their specific problems.
The magic: They learned by doing, not by researching. Each week they implemented one real solution, measured the impact, then built on what worked.
Result: They developed a custom AI workflow that reduced customer onboarding time by 70% and improved product iteration speed by 50%—using tools they never would have considered without hands-on learning. 📈
The framework that actually works: ⚡
The RAPID LEARNING Method:
R - Real implementations: Learn from companies actually using AI, not vendors selling it A - Apply immediately: Test one thing per week, don't just research P - Practical focus: Choose tools that solve your specific problems I - Iterate quickly: Measure impact weekly and adjust D - Deep understanding: Learn why something works, not just how to use it
L - Learn by doing: Hands-on implementation beats theoretical planning E - External insights: Bring in outside perspectives from other companies A - Adapt solutions: Customize what you learn to your unique context R - Rapid cycles: 8-week learning sprints vs. 8-month strategy processes N - Network effects: Each implementation builds knowledge for the next I - Internal fluency: Build team capability, not just tool adoption N - No paralysis: Move from analysis to action G - Gradual mastery: Compound learning through consistent experimentation
What rapid learning looks like vs. traditional AI strategy: 💪
Traditional: "Let's research AI tools for 3 months" Rapid learning: "Let's implement one AI solution each week and see what works"
Traditional: "We need an AI consultant to build our strategy" Rapid learning: "We're learning from 8 companies who've already solved similar problems"
Traditional: "Which AI platform should we standardize on?" Rapid learning: "What specific problem are we solving this week, and what's the simplest AI solution to test?"
The three rapid learning accelerators: 🎯
1. External learning network: Find 5-8 companies slightly ahead of you in AI implementation
2. Weekly implementation cycles: Test one new AI application every week
3. Problem-first tool selection: Start with the business problem, not the AI capability
The practical 8-week AI learning sprint: 🏋️‍♀️
Week 1: Invite external founder to share their #1 AI win Week 2: Implement their solution for your context Week 3: Different founder shares their customer AI implementation Week 4: Test their approach with your customers Week 5: Third founder shares operational AI workflow Week 6: Adapt their workflow to your operations Week 7: Fourth founder shares their team AI practices Week 8: Synthesize learnings into your custom AI strategy
Measure: Problems solved per week, not tools evaluated.
The plot twist: The companies winning with AI aren't the ones with the biggest budgets or fanciest tools. They're the ones learning fastest through rapid experimentation and external insights. 🚀
Bottom line: Stop planning your AI strategy. Start learning your way to one through rapid, practical implementation. 🎯
Who in your network has implemented AI in a way you could learn from this week? 💭
Rooting for you, CoachSK
The counterintuitive truth? As AI handles more tasks, human skills become your only sustainable competitive advantage. 🎯
The reality: AI can optimize processes, but it can't navigate the messy, emotional, complex reality of leading actual humans through rapid change.
Here's what I see across my portfolio companies: 📊
Tech startups: Implementing AI everywhere while team burnout and turnover skyrocket
Growth companies: Automating customer interactions while losing customer loyalty
*Enterprises: Rolling out AI tools while employee engagement scores plummet
The cost? Teams that feel replaceable instead of valuable. Cultures optimized for efficiency but drained of meaning. Innovation that stalls because human creativity requires human connection. 📉
Case study from my coaching practice: 🏅
A Series B fintech CEO was frustrated that AI implementation wasn't delivering the productivity gains he expected. His team was using the tools but seemed disengaged, and customer satisfaction was declining despite faster response times.
The problem: He'd focused entirely on optimizing processes while neglecting the human elements that actually drive performance.
The shift: We designed an "AI + Human" strategy that leveraged technology while intentionally amplifying human capabilities.
Examples:
- AI handled routine customer queries, freeing humans to solve complex problems requiring empathy
- AI analyzed data patterns, but humans made meaning of insights through collaborative interpretation
- AI automated status updates, but humans focused on strategic thinking and relationship building
Result: Team engagement increased 45%, customer satisfaction scores improved 30%, and they actually achieved the productivity gains AI promised—because humans felt valued, not replaced. 📈
The framework for human-centered AI leadership: ⚡
The AMPLIFY Method:
A - Acknowledge human fears: Address AI anxiety directly, don't pretend it doesn't exist
M - Meaning creation: Help people understand how AI enhances rather than replaces their value
P - Personal connection: Increase face-to-face interaction as digital interactions increase
L - Learning investment: Develop uniquely human skills that AI can't replicate
I - Individual recognition: Celebrate human contributions that technology enables
F - Future visioning: Co-create a vision where humans and AI thrive together
Y - Yes to humanity: Consciously choose human approaches even when AI options exist
What doubling down on humanity looks like: 💪
While AI handles: Data analysis, routine communications, process optimization
Humans focus on: Strategic thinking, creative problem-solving, relationship building, meaning-making
While AI provides: Instant responses, predictable outcomes, scaled efficiency
Humans provide: Emotional intelligence, contextual judgment, innovative thinking, authentic connection
While AI optimizes: Existing processes and known patterns Humans create: New possibilities and breakthrough solutions
The human skills that become MORE valuable with AI: 🌟
1. Emotional intelligence: Reading between the lines, understanding unspoken needs
2. Creative problem-solving: Connecting disparate ideas in novel ways
3. Adaptive thinking: Navigating ambiguity and unprecedented situations
4. Relationship building: Creating trust and psychological safety
5. Meaning-making: Helping people understand purpose behind change
6. Ethical judgment: Making decisions that consider broader human impact
Three counterintuitive leadership moves in the AI age: 🎯
1. Increase meeting frequency: More human connection as digital interaction increases
2. Slow down decision-making: Take time for human input even when AI provides instant analysis
3. Celebrate inefficiency: Some things (like team building) are valuable precisely because they're not optimized
Real examples of humanity-first AI leadership: 💡
Customer service transformation:
- AI handles: Initial triage, basic troubleshooting, data lookup
- Humans handle: Complex problem-solving, emotional situations, relationship repair
- Result: Faster resolution + higher satisfaction because humans address what matters most
Product development evolution:
- AI handles: Market research, user behavior analysis, A/B testing
- Humans handle: Vision creation, user empathy, breakthrough innovation
- Result: Data-informed products with genuine human appeal
Team management reimagined:
- AI handles: Performance tracking, scheduling optimization, workflow management
- Humans handle: Career development, conflict resolution, culture building
- Result: More efficient operations with stronger team cohesion
The uncomfortable questions every AI-era leader must ask: 🤔
1. What human experiences are we accidentally optimizing away?
2. How do we make people feel more valuable as AI becomes more capable?
3. Where are we choosing efficiency over humanity, and what's the real cost?
4. What uniquely human capabilities should we be developing more intentionally?
Practice exercise for humanity-first leadership: 🏋️‍♀️
This week, for every AI implementation, ask:
- What human skill does this free people to develop?
- How do we ensure humans feel enhanced, not threatened?
- What meaning and purpose does this create for our team?
- Where do we intentionally choose human connection over digital efficiency?
The plot twist: Companies that treat AI as a human replacement will lose to companies that treat AI as human amplification. 🚀
The future belongs to leaders who can blend technological capability with deep humanity.
Bottom line: AI will make you faster. Humanity will make you better. Leaders who master both will build the companies that actually matter. 🎯
What's one way you're intentionally choosing humanity over efficiency in your AI implementations? 💭

Coach S.K.

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10+ years coaching founding teams of venture-backed startups and General Partners of venture funds. Specialized training in team dynamics, individual development, and high-performance leadership for ambitious professionals.

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Leadership in the Age of AI

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